Plane streamlined,
Dived nose down;
Air hostess, a polite woman,
Said, "Welcome to America";
Grimace split my grin,
Jaw held tight;
Cab to the office,
Death cab floated in my mind;
Colleagues at office,
No introductions from my side;
Desk in my room,
Smelt of burnt wood;
Evening floated in,
A garden i craved for;
Verve blared in my ears,
Mind became numb, chilled;
First day in America,
Heartache made its way through my eyes.
hey bro..u hav a gr8 imagination yaar...
ReplyDeleteIt's stupid. You can do much better.
ReplyDeleteCould have been better!...and a little enthralling also.
ReplyDelete"If you want to know what John reads what John reads you will have to see the world from John's eye"
Well for me particularly__The concept which subdues the low level construction of poem in lines is good(in parallelism with your other poems)...only the concept of " First day in America"....make it a little descriptive.
Suggestions: change in alignments of most of your poems are needed. They should be aligned to center because they are not lengthy and your lines are shorter.
ReplyDeleteIt is a fact that nowadays centered poems are in focus as they presents a very crisp look. People don't like reading poems in the same alignment of novels or book expect some people of Wordsworth times.